Do you recognize yourself in this?
- You doubt whether your work suits you
- You wonder whether you’re in the right relationship
- You are looking for more meaning, satisfaction and happiness
- You consider organizing your life completely differently
- You sometimes think about ways in which you could contribute more to society
Insecurity about one or more important choices in your life.
A majority of highly educated people in their late 20s and early 30s are faced with a quarter life crisis, a.k.a. a thirty-something dilemma. When you recognize yourself having a quarter life crisis, how can you best deal with it?
Over the past years, I have helped dozens of people who struggled with quarter life crisis symptoms.
When growing up, the world around you seems vast. Slowly, you get to know the world around you. Most of us will learn what it’s like to make friends, be in love, drink alcohol and go on holiday abroad. And by the time you have several years of work experience, you will have already explored much of the world around you.
In this new life phase, you’re still able to enjoy the beauty around you. But since you have already come to know so many aspects of the world around you, your attention tends to shifts outside to inside of you.
In today’s world, where just about anything seems possible, what do you want? People with quarter life crisis symptoms will find it hard to provide a consistent answer. Not long ago, you seemed to know all the answers. But right now, it feels like the energy and determination you used to go through life with are no longer there. It’s like the old fuel you used to do so well on no longer works. And you haven’t been able to find your new fuel yet.
For most of us, it’s a lot harder to connect with our inside world, than it is listening to what others have to say. Yet knowing what you want in life comes from within. Being able to connect with what you want, is the way out of a quarter life crisis.
On other websites you may have read that yoga, meditation and sports will be most helpful. While I believe that all three will be beneficial in silencing the mind and connecting with your inner wisdom, it’s not enough.
Before you will be able to set a new course in your life, you will need to have a basic understanding of what is going on. And what it takes to successfully make important life choices. Think of it as a roadmap.
- Who you are and where you’re from
- What drives you?
- And what makes you most happy in life?
- Awareness of behavioral patterns you have adopted
- Knowing your true options
- Testing which of these options suit you best, before making your decision
If you’re trying to base your life choices too much on ratio, you will find yourself continuously doubting your decisions. If, instead, you’re able to base your life choices on who you are, you will experience the opposite: a deep sense of relaxation. You will simply know and feel you’ve made the right decision. There will be no more doubt.
At Growth Center we are experts in the field of the quarter life crisis. We’ve coached countless young professionals both in the The Hague region and online.
Gain insight
When you’re looking for change, gaining insight is the first step. Otherwise, you won’t know where to start.
Explore your possibilities
Coaching offers you new and undiscovered perspectives and thus increases your options.
Live a life that suits you 100%
Connect with what matters most to you. And provide it the space in your life it deserves.
Frequently asked questions
How will I know Coaching is what I need?
When you are looking for coaching or guidance, you will find there are several options available: coaches, counselors, advisors, and therapists. Each of these have their own approach to try to help you. Here, I will explain the similarities and differences between these different groups of professionals.
Whereas therapists work problem focussed, coaches and counselors work goal-oriented and developmentally. In practice, this means a therapist will want to explore all aspects of the issue in depth. While a coach or counselor will focus on achieving the goals set by their clients and their personal development.
Whereas advisors listen to clients and then provide them with advice. Coaches and counselors will encourage their client (often referred to as “coachee”) to find the answers to their questions within themselves. Thereby increasing their clients’ autonomy. This is how coaches teach people to help themselves. Professional coaches will not only help you navigate the challenges you’re facing right now. But also teach you to effectively deal with future challenges.
How will I know which coach will suit me best?
There are many coaches out there. And not all coaches are able to offer professional services at the highest level. I will give you some pointers on what you should pay attention to when looking for the right coach for you.
Firstly, you will want to make sure the coach you are about to start working with is working at a professional level. Therefore, look for a coach accredited by a generally recognized institution, such as NOBCO in the Netherlands and EQA in Europe.
Now that you know what to look for when it comes to quality and accreditation, look for a coach who is experienced in working on the particular topic you’d like to work on. For example: career coaching is rather different from working with people who have gone through a period of burnout. Which is completely different from relationship coaching. As a coach, I work on personal and professional development, with nearly all of my clients being higher educated professionals. Many of my clients are looking for meaning, a healthy work-life balance or a career switch. While a second group I work with consists of managers and founders looking to develop as a leadership.
Finally, you will want to look for a coach with whom you will ‘click’. Often this will be someone who sparks curiosity in you. Someone you feel you will be able to learn from. Most professional coaches will offer you an opportunity to get to know them before committing to a number of coaching sessions. This usually takes the form of an intake interview or introduction session. I offer my potential clients a clarity call. A free, 45-minute session allowing us both to experience what working together would be like.
What to expect from a coaching session?
During our coaching sessions, we will meet either in person or online. Face to face coaching sessions last approximately 90 minutes per session. While online sessions last approximately 60 minutes per session.
Coaching is a goal-oriented process. This means we will start out by setting goals for our coaching sessions. And regularly check in to track progress.
During our coaching sessions, we will talk about the challenges you’re facing. Additionally, we will use exercises and coaching assignments rooted in systemic work. These exercises enable you to engage with more than just your head and cognition. You will not only be able to reflect on a certain challenge or situation; but also be able to use your body to sense what is right for you.
Additionally, you will most likely receive one or more assignments to work on in between coaching sessions.
Coaching sounds like quite an investment?
Coaching doesn’t come cheap. And it is also true that coaching is well worth the investment. Especially when it helps you live a happy life and work on building a meaningful career.
In order to make coaching available to a wide audience, private clients pay a reduced rate. While organizations and businesses pay a little more.
And did you know it’s possible to pay in installments on request?
I am Tristan van der Hoeven.
As an accredited coach and psychologist by NOBCO, I help you bring out the best in yourself and create the change you seek. By listening, asking questions, challenging, and confronting you. I help you discover what you want and how to get there.