Last week I saw a client for a coaching session. Like many people in their 30s, he’s trying to juggle a large number of things at once. During our first conversation, he already mentioned what he wants to work on: becoming more effective and efficient. So he can handle more and experience less stress.
In practice, the outcome of coaching often looks different from what someone expected at the start. Questions resolve themselves or fall away. Or a new insight makes a different question much more relevant.
In my work as a coach, I use the following starting point:
Doing more of the same is not always the answer.
When a question concerns effectiveness or efficiency, it can help to explore what lies beneath the behaviour. Which beliefs, expectations or choices keep the pattern in place?
My client loves beautiful cars. During our second coaching session, I compared his behaviour to a car travelling at 90 kilometres per hour in second gear. He looked surprised, then laughed. I think he already understood what I meant. “But how do you mean?” he asked.
“The whole car shakes and makes a lot of noise. You feel as though you are going incredibly fast. But in reality, you are using less than half your potential,” I said.
I asked whether pressing harder on the accelerator would be the solution.
“Perhaps I could just about reach 100 kilometres per hour this way,” he said with a grin. “But I think I understand your point. It is not about pressing harder on the accelerator. It is about finding a different gear.”
Exactly. Sometimes you first have to dare to take your foot off the accelerator in order to go faster.
Continue reading: explore coaching, or read Why self-efficacy matters and Why leadership can feel lonely.
