How to make important choices in life?

My personal perspective on the Head vs Heart dilemma

Major life choices can be notoriously hard to make and could potentially have a huge impact on our lives. Luckily, it’s not everyday we find ourselves facing these dilemma’s. 

But there comes a moment in every life when we ask ourselves questions like: “Do I want to continue my current career?”,  “Where do I want to live?”, “Who do I want to share my life with?” or “Would we like to have children?”.  For many people, making life choices is a difficult process. And the longer the process tends to last, the more unpleasant it might feel. So what is it that makes it so hard?

Growing up in Western society most of us have been rewarded for our cognitive abilities from an early age onwards. Just think about the grades we received in school. And, how later on in college or university many of us have been trained to make rational analyses.  Or how we were taught to view situations from multiple different perspectives.

In general it is safe to say our cognitive abilities should be more than adequate to make these types choices. Yet many people get to experience one or more periods of uncertainty and discomfort. Quite often we find ourselves in a period like this for the first time when we are in our late 20s or early 30s.

I’d like to share with you what I have learned about the process of making life choices from both a personal perspective – as well as my perspective as a coach. So this is my perspective at making life choices:

Use the heart to find direction in life.

Then use the head to come up with the plans needed to realize dreams and execute.


I am often asked the following questions. “So how can someone tell whether he or she actually chose from the heart?” My answer is that if someone feels relatively calm after they have taken their – if they’re able to relax and consent, then the choice came from the heart. Of course, the oppositie is also true: if one finds himself reconsidering their choice just days later, then it is safe to assume that the choice came from the head.

If your’re interested to learn more about making life choices, then keep an eye on the Growth Center website. Soon you will find articles here about making career choices and about the ‘Thirty-something dilemma’.